When Surgery Doesn’t Go to Plan: Coping with Complications

No one signs up for bonus surgeries. You go in hoping to fix something, only to come out with new complications, extra scars, or frustrating delays to your next treatment. It’s shit, even when it’s nobody’s fault.

For a lot of us with bowel cancer, surgery is a major part of treatment. And while most go smoothly, sometimes things don’t go quite to plan. Ports can fail. Wounds can reopen. Bowel joins can leak. And all of it can throw your recovery, your chemo schedule, and your headspace completely out of whack.

Let’s talk honestly about what happens when surgery hits a snag and how to deal with the emotional and practical chaos that can follow.

Why complications happen, even with good doctors

First up: not all complications mean someone stuffed up. Surgery is complex. The human body is unpredictable. Even with the best surgeons, the cleanest operating rooms, and the most carefully planned procedures, things can go wrong. It doesn’t mean the care was poor. It just means you’re human.

Infections. Bleeding. Equipment failures. Poor wound healing. Reactions to anaesthetic. Even how your body moves or heals afterward can change the outcome. None of these necessarily point to medical error, sometimes they’re just the unfortunate reality of operating on an already vulnerable body.

It’s okay to be upset about it. But it’s also okay to still have full respect for your medical team and acknowledge that not every bump is preventable.

Common curveballs in bowel cancer surgery

Every patient’s journey is different, but here are a few complications and setbacks many of us end up dealing with:

• Chemo port issues: Ports that twist, block, get infected, or simply stop working. Some need replacing, more than once.
• Wound infections: Especially after abdominal surgery. Can delay healing or require further intervention.
• Anastomotic leaks: When the join between two bowel sections doesn’t seal properly, sometimes requiring emergency reoperation.
• Hernias: Weakness in the abdominal wall post-surgery, which may need another procedure down the track.
• Stoma complications: Retraction, prolapse, skin irritation, or leaks that take time and effort to manage.
• Delayed chemo: When recovery takes longer or complications arise, it can push back the start or continuation of chemotherapy, which is incredibly frustrating.

These aren’t rare. You’re not alone if you’ve experienced one or more of these. But just because it’s common doesn’t make it any less annoying, painful, or emotionally draining.

The emotional whiplash of setbacks

You prep yourself mentally for surgery. You count down to the date. You wake up groggy and sore but optimistic that the worst is over. Then a nurse tells you something’s not healing right. Or that your port isn’t working. Or that you’ll need to go back under.

It’s like getting the rug pulled out from under you, again.

Setbacks mess with your mental state. They undo your momentum. They can make you feel like you’re falling behind in your recovery, even if it’s not your fault. And for many patients, they re-trigger fear, helplessness, and even depression.

It’s okay to feel angry. It’s okay to feel deflated. But remember: a setback isn’t the end of progress, even if it slows you down for a while.

Delays to chemo: when timing feels critical

One of the most frustrating parts of surgical complications is how they mess with your treatment timeline. Especially chemo.

Chemo often runs on tight, pre-planned schedules. So when surgery complications force a delay, it’s easy to spiral into panic: “Will the cancer grow back while I wait?” “Am I ruining my chances?”

I’ve had my chemo port replaced four times. Not because of infections, but because the bloody thing kept being faulty. Each time, it meant delays to chemo and while none of those delays were massive, they were still mentally exhausting. The appointments get rescheduled. The anxiety builds. The sense of momentum disappears.

But here’s what I’ve learnt: your medical team knows what they’re doing. They’re not going to delay chemo unless they have to and they will always weigh the risks and benefits of every decision. A short delay might feel huge to you, but it’s unlikely to make or break your outcome. What matters most is that you’re getting safe, coordinated care.

Blame vs understanding: trust your team

It’s tempting to point fingers when things don’t go right. And look, in some cases, people genuinely do get let down by poor care. But that’s not always the story and it’s not mine.

I’ve had surgeries that didn’t go to plan. But I don’t blame my surgeons. They’re not miracle workers, they’re professionals doing their best in high-stakes situations. They’ve always had my back. They’ve owned any issues. They’ve worked hard to fix things fast. And most importantly, they’ve treated me like a human being, not just a case file.

If you trust your team, lean into that trust. Let it carry you through the bumps. And if you don’t trust your team? It’s okay to get a second opinion or ask for a care coordinator or patient advocate to step in. Your voice matters too.

How to cope when things go off-script

Here are some things that can help you get through it mentally and practically when surgery doesn’t go to plan:

• Ask questions: Understand exactly what went wrong (if anything), what the fix is, and how it might affect your overall plan.
• Give yourself space to feel: Frustration, fear, grief, it’s all valid. Don’t bottle it just to appear “strong.”
• Track everything: Keep records of appointments, new dates, scans, or procedures. Having it written down helps you feel more in control.
• Stay connected: Talk to someone, a partner, friend, counsellor, or cancer support line. Don’t isolate yourself.
• Use the “cancer card” when you need to: If delays or complications are affecting work, bills, or other areas of life, it’s okay to say “I’m having unexpected medical complications” and ask for extensions, flexibility, or help.
• Focus on healing: Do what you can to rest, eat, hydrate, and gently move when safe. Recovery matters and it deserves your energy.

Support options in Australia

You don’t have to go through surgical setbacks alone. Here are a few places that can help:

• Bowel Cancer Australia: Offers nurse and nutrition support, plus resources tailored for young patients. bowelcanceraustralia.org
• Cancer Council Australia: Provides free counselling, support groups, and practical advice via 13 11 20.
• Hospital social workers: Available through most public and private hospitals, they can help coordinate care, access funding, and support your mental wellbeing.

It’s not weak to ask for help. It’s smart. Especially when your physical recovery is already doing the heavy lifting.

Final thought

If you’re in the middle of a complication, waiting for a wound to heal, rescheduling chemo, or heading back for another unplanned surgery, I see you. It’s frustrating. It’s exhausting. It’s not fair.

But it’s not the end of your story. Setbacks suck, but they don’t mean failure. Trust your team. Speak up when you need to. And hang in there, because forward is still forward, even if it’s slow.